Why We Should Avoid Egotism
by Kyosanim Melissa L. Nichols
Egotism is “characterized by an exaggerated estimate of one's
intellect, ability, importance, appearance, wit, or other valued personal
characteristics"[1] – the drive to maintain and enhance favorable views of
oneself.
"In egotism we find the person filled with an overweening sense of
the importance and qualities of his personality...the things of the
'Me.'"[2] Egotism means placing oneself at the center of one's world with
no concern for others, including those loved or considered as
"close," in any other terms except those set by the egotist. (Wikipedia)
In martial arts this can be a
slippery slope. In life, it is a recipe
for disaster. When we train, we develop
more confidence as a result of attaining greater knowledge and greater skill;
this increased confidence is a good thing, as long as it is kept in check with
humility. Without humility, the ego can
inflate and this can lead the student down the wrong path, regardless of
rank. The high rank and low rank are
susceptible to the influence of overabundant ego, or egotism.
Egotism can manifest in small
ways, such as throwing one’s weight around at junior ranking classmates, or
larger ones, like second guessing an instructor, or even correcting them during
class. Both of these behaviors are bad and lack humility. As higher ranking students, we are obligated
to help our juniors on their journey, and create a helpful and supportive
environment. To make them feel inferior,
or to boss them around is not the Chayon-Ryu way. Likewise, as instructors, we
must never overstep into the private lives of students, and assume authority to
order students about outside the context of a student/teacher
relationship. It is our responsibility
to prepare the young birds to fly from the nest and be able to stand on their
own.
As juniors, we must show our seniors and
instructors respect at all times. No
matter what we were taught previously, we must respect the teacher who stands
at the head of the class and not show disrespect, or insubordination. Be humble, be serious. We must never believe that we know more than
the person standing to our right.
Outside the dojang, we must all
remember to balance ego with humility as well, or we run the risk of becoming narcissistic
and overblown with self-importance. No
one wants to deal with this kind of person, at work, at school, on a sports
team, in traffic or even in line at the coffee shop. The ego unchecked can create a monster within
us. It is even possible for some individuals to develop into bullies, or
abusers. To avoid this pitfall, we must
look to the lessons of Chayon-Ryu to direct us to a place of peace and
enlightenment. Grandmaster Kim Soo has
given us the tools to navigate life without falling into the trap of egotism,
and we must look to his teaching and example to be our compass. These great gifts are his legacy to us all,
if we are open to receiving them.
It is good to develop confidence
and to feel good about our achievements. But we must never let our ego overrun
our good sense, and basic principles of right and wrong. Balance the ego with humility. Be humble and
serious in training. Apply Chayon-Ryu principles to everyday living, and seek
the path to enlightenment and self-awareness.
When we are self-aware, we are aware of how our words and actions affect
those around us.
